Deanna Winchester
by LoveIsAllYouNeed96
Summary: My name is Deanna Winchester. I'm an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky men. This is my story.
1. Angels

**Author's Note: **This is a new AU series of one shots (maybe a few two shots) which depict the lives of Deanna and Sam Winchester. This is only a short chapter but the ones that follow will be longer. I am planning to do canon based chapters that show various crucial moments from episodes with Deanna and Sam as well as one shots that show their lives pre series. If you have any plot suggestions or prompts, please feel free to leave them in the comment section :)

**Preseries / **Deanna is **4** and Sam is **6 months old**.

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**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

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"Mommy's gone to heaven."

That was what John had told Deanna when she asked about where her Mommy had gone.

"With the angels?"

"Angels don't exist, Deanna."

* * *

Sammy cries a lot now. So does Daddy. It's as if Sammy can sense all of the pain that she and their Daddy are feeling. As if he knows that Mommy's gone to heaven and misses her.

"Shhh, Sammy..." Deanna whispered as she clambered out of bed and over to her little brother's crib. "Daddy's sleeping, he'll get mad if you wake him up." Pulling out the pins at the top of the crib like she had seen Daddy do, Deanna pulled down the wooden side before clambering up into the crib. "It's okay, Sammy..." She soothed as she gathered her little brother up into her arms. "It's okay..."

Sam has stopped crying now. Looking up at his older sister, he giggled lightly as a smile came to his face.

The first smile Deanna has seen since the night Mommy died.

A smile so innocent that it brings a smile to her face too as she looked down at her baby brother in her arms.

Deanna pressed a kiss to his tiny forehead. "Angels are watching over you..." She paused. "...and Mommy is one of them."

And that's how John found them in the morning. His eldest curled up inside his youngest's crib, the baby in her arms snuggling against her chest with a hand lightly fisting the material of her grey pyjama shirt.


	2. Daddy's Little Soldier

Deanna is **27** and Sam is **23**.

Set in **Season 2** after John's death.

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**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

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Sat at the bar, Deanna finished her pint before setting the glass down on the counter.

The guy who had been watching her since she walked in noticed this and sat down on the stool next to her.

"Can I buy you another?" He asked.

"I'm really not in the mood." Deanna stated before eventually turning to look at the trucker. "And I'm not that desperate." Taking a $5 bill out of her pocket, she placed it down on the counter before getting up from the stool.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Deanna immediately shrugged it off before finding herself being roughly turned so that she was facing a trucker in a baseball cap. He smiled as he took in Deanna's appearance.

"Leaving so soon?" He asked.

"Get off me..." Deanna warned.

"Playing hard to get...I like it." The trucker smiled drunkenly.

"I said, get...your hands...off me!" Her tone was stern.

Grabbing her wrist in a tight grip, the trucker began to drag Deanna off towards the bathroom.

"No!" She shouted, trying to free herself of his grip. When that didn't work, Deanna then tried to reach for her gun but sadly couldn't reach it. "Get off me!"

Pushing her into the bathroom, the trucker grinned before he began to unzip his jeans.

"Get away from me you sick bastard!" Deanna shouted.

"Such a pretty little thing." The trucker seemed oblivious to what she was saying as he walked closer to her.

"No!" Deanna began to swing punches and kicks, but the trucker grabbed hold of her wrist.

"I love a girl who fights back." He pushed Deanna against the sinks.

Deanna's strength faded away as she squirmed desperationally, embarrassed by how pathetic she knew she looked.

"You're gonna' wanna let go of my sister..." Came a familiar voice.

"Sammy?" Deanna practically whimpered with teary eyes as she immediately found her brother's gaze.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you, boy..." The trucker threatened before he grabbed a handful of Deanna's blonde haired and used it to yank her head back.

"Gah..." She moaned.

"I just want some fun." The trucker stated.

"You're sick!" Sam growled through gritted teeth.

"She wants it...don't you..." The trucker's breath tickled Deanna's neck causing her posture to stiffen even further as she screwed her eyes closed.

Seeing his sister's discomfort, Sam fired a calculated shot, making sure that he wouldn't hit Deanna, which struck the trucker in the shoulder.

"Gah!" He shouted in pain, before he growled in anger. Tightening his grip on Deanna's hair, he then slammed her head down hard against the stone bench of the sinks.

Deanna fell bonelessly to the floor, unconscious.

"Deanna!" Sam shouted in a panicked tone before he looked back at the trucker. Raising the gun, he pulled the trigger.

The bullet was perfectly aimed and struck the trucker in the forehead, through the brain. He fell to the floor, dead.

Sam didn't stop to comment as he was already rushing over to his older sister who was lying in a heap on the floor beneath the sinks. The bench in which the trucker had slammed her head against had blood stained on it from where Deanna's head had made contact with the white stone.

"Deanna!" Sam dropped to his knees beside his older sister, carefully gathering her up into his arms. Placing two fingers against her neck, Sam was relieved to find a pulse. "Come on Deanna...wake up..." He encouraged softly. "...please wake up..."

A soft groan could be heard before her eyelids flickered open to reveal two apple green eyes. Sam immediately checked her pupils for any sign of a concussion but found none. Sam did however know that the gash on her forehead would need stitching. "S'my?..." Deanna mumbled as she came to once again.

Sam smiled as he heard his nickname. "Yeah it's me."

"You kicked ass." A smile came to Deanna's face as she complimented him.

Sam didn't say anything, his eyes fixed on the now dead trucker lying on the floor with a puddle of blood pooling around his head. It was obvious what was upsetting him.

"Sammy...it's not your fault..." Deanna spoke up.

"What he was going to do to you...what if I hadn't have found you, I mean when I came in here he had his jeans down."

"Nothing happened, because you didn't let it happen." Deanna stated. "Don't beat yourself up over this."

"You're my sister...I'm supposed to be looking out for you."

"No I'm your older sister. It's always been my job to look after you. I can look after myself, he just got the drop on me. Trust me, I won't let it happen again." There was so much strength in her voice.

Sam knew that his sister _was_ shaken up by the whole thing, but her pride was too big to admit it. It had always been the same growing up. Something bad would happen to him or Dad, and Deanna would immediately shut down her own emotions to focus on the task at hand. It was just one of the traits that their father had trained into her when she was little because 'Soldiers don't cry, Deanna. They can't afford to get caught up in what's happening. They need to stay focused on the job and follow it through, now matter how hard that is to do.' Which was stupid because this was Deanna. His own daughter. Doesn't she deserve the right to cry now and again? To admit that the fact that she was was nearly raped did scare her? But like he said, this was Deanna. Deanna who saw her sole purpose in life as being to look after her little brother. Because John had drilled that in too. 'Watch out for Sammy. Look after your little brother, girl.' But Dad was gone now, and for tonight, Sam was throwing those rules out the window.

"Where are your keys?" He asked.

Deanna furrowed an eyebrow. "What?"

"Your keys."

Realisation kicked in. "You're not driving." She stated.

"Deanna, you can't drive." Sam responded.

"Of course I can...I'm fine."

"No you're not, and you know you're not." Sam stated softly.

"I'm fine. Just cause' I'm not sharing and caring like you doesn't mean I'm not okay." Deanna retorted. "I can drive my own friggin' car."

"Deanna, please..." Sam sighed.

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" Deanna asked.

"I want you to be honest with yourself. I want you to be able to tell the truth about how you're feeling." He paused. "I know Dad taught you that showing emotions was bad..."

"Sammy..." Deanna cut him off in a warning, clearly not wanting to talk about their father.

"But keeping everything bottled up, it's killing you, Deanna!"

"Leave it, Sam." She stated sternly before she weakly began to push herself to her feet, using the sink bench to try and pull herself up.

Sam placed an arm around her waist and gently supported her. "Please, Deanna..."

She said nothing.

A sigh could be heard a few seconds later though before Sam heard the jangling sound of a set of keys.

Sam smiled and took the keys from her. The keys representing so much. A massive leap forward for Deanna.

"Don't give me that smug smile, Sammy. I may be bleeding but I can still kick your ass!" Came Deanna's warning tone.

Sam laughed.


	3. Asylum

Tag to **Asylum (1x10)**

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**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

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Looking around in the basement of the Asylum, Deanna walked down the corridor. "Sammy? Sam, you down here? Sam? Sam!" Turning round, Sam was stood in front of her. Jumping back in shock, she raised her shotgun. "Man, answer me when I'm calling you! I could've shot you!" Deanna scorned before taking a deep breath. "You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine.

"You know it wasn't me who called your cell, right?" She stated.

"Yeah, I know. I think something lured me down here." Sam nodded.

"I think I know who. Dr. Ellicott. That's what the spirits have been trying to tell us. You haven't seen him, have you?" Deanna asked.

"No. How do you know it was him?" Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"Cause' I found his log book. Apparently he was experimenting on his patients, awful stuff. Makes lobotomies look like a coupla' aspirin." She explained.

"But it was the patients who rioted."

"Yeah. They were rioting against Dr. Ellicott. Dr. Feelgood was working on some sort of, like, extreme rage therapy. He thought that if he could get his patients to vent their anger then they would be cured of it. Instead it only made them worse and worse and angrier and angrier. So I'm thinking, what if his spirit is doing the same thing? To the cop? To the kids in the seventies, making them so angry they become homicidal... Come on, we gotta find his bones and torch 'em." She smiled.

"How? The police never found his body." Sam stated.

"The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere where he'd work on his patients. So, if I was a patient I'd drag his ass down here, do a little work on it myself."

"I don't know, it sounds kinda..."

"Crazy?" Deanna finished.

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"Yeah. Exactly." Opening the door, Deanna gestured with her head for Sam to follow before walking inside the room.

"I told you I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room." Sam stated.

"Well, that's why they call it hidden..." I stopped, hearing the sound of wind blowing. "You hear that?"

"What?"

Looking around, Deanna crouched and held her hand out. "There's a door here."

"Deanna."

Hearing the sound of a gun cocking, Deanna turned slowly to see Sam stood with his gun aimed at her. Blood was trickling from his nose.

"Step back from the door." He stated sternly.

Deanna slowly rose to her feet, her eyes going to her brother's gun. "Sam, put the gun down."

"Is that an order?" Sam asked.

"Nah, it's more of a friendly request.

Sam raised his gun so that it was aimed at Deanna's chest. "Cause' I'm getting pretty tired of taking your orders."

Something was wrong with Sam. "I knew it. Ellicott did something to you."

"For once in your life, just shut your mouth." Deanna knew that Sam would never talk to her like that if Dr. Strange hadn't of screwed with his head.

"What are you gunna' do, Sam? Gun's filled with rock salt. It's not gunna kill me." Deanna stated.

"No. But it will hurt like hell." Sam stated.

Deanna furrowed an eyebrow but before she could comment, Sam pulled the trigger. The bullet struck Deanna in the chest. The force of the blast sent her falling backwards through the hidden door before she fell to the floor on her back, knocked unconscious as her head hit the stone floor.

When Deanna finally came to, she gasped for breath. Coughing and wheezing, Deanna sought out her brother. "Sam! We gotta burn Ellicott's bones and all this will be over, and you'll be back to normal."

Sam walked closer and stood over her. "I am normal. I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? 'Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little solider? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?"

"This isn't you talking, Sam." Deanna winced as she moved slightly.

"That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you."

Deanna tried to block out her brother's harsh words. "So what are you gunna do, huh? Are you gunna kill me?" She asked in a gruff tone.

"You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding Dad today than we were six months ago." Sam stated.

"Well, then here. Let me make it easier for you." Taking out her shotgun, Deanna held it out to Sam. "Come on. Take it. Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt."

Sam hesitated.

"Take it!"

Taking the gun off her, Sam pointed the gun at his sister.

"You hate me that much? You think you could kill your own sister? Then go ahead. Pull the trigger." Deanna paused. "Do it!" She shouted.

Sam pulled the trigger, furrowing an eyebrow as nothing happened. He tried again and again but still no shot fired.

Using the opportunity, Deanna swung a right cross to knock her brother to the ground before she slowly clambered to her feet, fighting the pain that roared through her chest. "Man, I'm not going to give you a loaded pistol!"

Sam stared up at her.

Deanna then delivered another right cross to knock him out, stumbling as she did so. She then patted Sam on the arm. "Sorry, Sammy."

Back at the motel later that night, Deanna was sat in the bathroom in her black bra and pyjama bottoms with one of Sam's oversized, burgundy plaid shirts, unbuttoned and hanging open from bony shoulders, propped up against the wall. Holding an ice pack to her throbbing chest, she winced.

There was a knock at the bathroom door.

"Deanna..." Came Sam's voice.

"I'm fine, Sam. Go away." She answered.

Deanna heard the sound of the door creaking slightly, indicating that Sam must have slid down the door and sat down against it.

After a further few seconds of silence...

"I'm sorry..."

Deanna sighed as she heard Sam's saddened, tearful tone. It was obvious that the guilt was eating at him.

"...I didn't mean the stuff I said..." He paused. "...honestly I didn't..." He sighed. "And then I shot you..."

'Which time?' Deanna thought. Her little brother had effectively shot her four times. But she didn't say anything.

Nausea came over her as she had to throw herself towards the toilet, ignoring the pain that was searing through her chest. Deanna collapsed against the cold rim of the bowl as she dry retched. "Gah..." Screwing her eyes closed against the pain, Deanna wrapped an arm around her stomach.

She then heard the door click behind her before a hand was placed gently on her shoulder.

Deanna wanted to shrug it off, but didn't as she allowed it to help her down to the floor, before she leant back against the wall once again.

Sam sat down next to her before digging into his pocket and pulling something out. "Peace offering?" He held out a box of Tylenol.

Deanna smiled as she took the box, popping two pills and dry swallowing them.

"Look, you can't hate me more than I hate me." Sam stated.

Deanna couldn't help but smirk at her brother. Turning to him, she shook her head. "Was that supposed to be meaningful and poetic?" She mocked.

Sam smirked. "Maybe."

"Damn you...I'm supposed to be angry at you...stop making me laugh." Deanna smiled, because as much as she would like nothing more than to tell Sam to go screw himself and get angry about the whole thing, Sam was still her little brother, and she knew that it wasn't his fault that the Doc had screwed with his head.

"So you didn't mean any if it, huh?" She asked. "Not any of it?"

"No." Sam shook his head.

"Sam, tell the truth. I'm tougher than I look, I can handle it. Lay it on me." Deanna encouraged.

"I am telling the truth. I didn't mean any of that stuff. That was all Dr. Ellicott as his freaky mind power thing." He explained.

Feeling the nausea come over her once again, Deanna willed herself upright from the slouched position she was sitting in.

Sam wrapped an arm around her back and supported her over to the toilet.

Deanna emptied the contents of her stomach into it before collapsing, drained into her brothers arms as he kept her upright. "If you tell anyone about this I will hunt your ass down!"

Sam smirked. "I should get a picture to remember the moment by."

"You'd be dead before you even got the chance to take it." Deanna answered, in a typical Deanna way before pausing. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't mad at you, because I am. I mean..." She paused once again. "...you shot me, man."

"I know..." Sam lowered his head.

As he did, Deanna caught sight of the impressive purple shiner that he was now sporting on his cheek and under his eye, she having been the one to put it there. Deanna raised a hand and gently traced the bruise lightly with her finger. "Still hurt?" She asked softly.

Sam smiled and turned to look at his sister. Even when his sister was in immense pain after being shot, she was still a mother hen when it came to him. "I'm fine, De." He reassured.

At the sound of her nickname, Deanna smiled. She knew she couldn't stay mad at her little brother. He probably knew that too. She had always been a pushover when it came to Sam. Stupid puppy dog eyes. Sighing, Deanna rested her head against her little brother's shoulder.

Sam smiled too, wrapping an arm gently around his sister before pulling her close so she was leaning against his side. "We will find Dad, Deanna..." He began. "I promise."

"Thanks, Sammy.


	4. Buried Alive

**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

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The tranquility of the warm, Summer's day was wrecked as the door of the old, wooden cabin burst open, slamming against the side of the house.

"No!" Deanna shouted, trying to squirm free of the vice like grip her father had on her arm as he pulled her from the cabin and out into the yard. "No! Dad, please!" She begged.

"You need to learn, Deanna." Her father responded. "It could save your life one day."

"Please, Dad! Please don't do this!"

"Stop fighting me, Deanna!" He bellowed before adjusting his grip on her so that he had his arms around her waist.

"No!" She screamed. "Nooooo! Please...please!" Tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks as she felt her father lift her from the ground and drag her towards the hole he had dug.

Deanna kicked to try and free herself of her father's hold, but it was no use. He was too strong.

When they reached the grave, Deanna looked at her father with a desperational expression. "No...please! Please, Dad! Please! Don't do this to me! Please..."

"You need to learn."

And then everything went dark.

* * *

Deanna moaned as she came to, throbbing pain coming from her eye and cheek. Flickering her eyes open, she gasped at the sight that met her, eyes widening in sheer panic.

Her father had buried her alive.

The air was so thin that breathing was almost impossible.

The weight of the dirt restricted her movements as she tried to move her arm but failed.

"Dad!" She shouted as loud as she possibly could, which apparently wasn't that loud because there was no reply.

And then the thought dawned on her that her father had probably walked off and left her. The whole exercise was about her knowing what to do if a situation like this ever happened in the future, so he was being precise to every detail by not being there when she would have to try and get herself out of the grave.

Deanna wasn't a sufferer of claustrophobia, but as the minutes went on and she still couldn't move her arms to try and dig herself out, the weight of the dirt seemed to become heavier as her breathing began to heighten as her heart pounded in her chest.

She was having a panic attack.

Deanna had only had one panic attack before. It wasn't from being in some amazingly dangerous situation that would sound acceptable when talking about panic attack causes. No, it was in a motel room in Nebraska when she had woken up from a nightmare. Deanna was glad that her father hadn't been in the motel room that night, or she would have gotten shouted at by him for being weak. Sam was the one who had calmed her down after it, offering her comfort as she tried to forget the horrific images that had played out in her dream.

She hadn't struggled for breath during her last panic attack though. That was new. But that could be a side effect of having six ton of dirt lying on top of you, trapping you in a grave that your father had dug just to train you on how to escape if a monster happened to throw you in one and bury you alive.

Because situations like that happen all the time.

"Dad..." She began in a weak, breathless tone.

Silence.

"Dad..." Deanna spoke once again. "Please..." She knew she sounded pathetic as she begged for her father, but right now, Deanna would give anything to get out of the grave.

Her body began to shake as she screwed her eyes closed and forced her breathing to slow down as she tried counting down from ten.

That didn't work.

The shakes however did loosen the hold the dirt had on her arm slightly though which meant that she was able to move it upwards towards the dirt pinning her down on her back against the base of the grave. Beginning to claw away at the mud, she felt drops of blood drip onto her face from slowly bleeding fingers.

As the shaking became more severe, Deanna found herself becoming more and more worked up as she was really beginning to panic.

"Dad..." She began as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Please...I'm begging you please...I can't breathe!"

More minutes passed as Deanna's head began to feel fuzzy from lack of oxygen, exhaustion and claustrophobia.

That's when she felt a hand break through the dirt above her and grip her hard around the wrist. She was then yanked through the dirt with little care before Deanna found herself tumbling towards the grass, landing on her side amongst the tall, uncut blades.

Deanna coughed and spluttered, gasping at the cool, fresh air.

Her lungs didn't have long to refill though as her father grabbed her by the arm and roughly yanked her to her feet.

Deanna would have just fallen right back down again if he hadn't of gripped her by the shoulder with a bone crushing grip. His expression said it all.

"Useless!" He scorned, disappointment in his eyes. "Fucking useless, that's what you are! Can't even handle a little bit of dirt without freaking out like a baby!" John scoffed as he shook his head. "We'll continue this tomorrow..." He walked off, releasing his grip on Deanna's shoulder.

Without her father's support, Deanna dropped down to her knees, body still shaking from the panic attack that was still affecting her weakened body. Tears still streaming down her cheeks.

Pathetic. That's what she was. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C, pathetic!

Stumbling up onto shaky legs, Deanna slowly walked over to the cabin and inside. Making her way through into the bedroom that she was sharing with Sam, Deanna collapsed down onto the bed, not bothering to remove her dirty clothes or wash up. All she wanted to do was sleep, and that's what she did.

* * *

_Deanna found herself deep beneath the ground in the grave once again._

_"No one's coming for you, Deanna!" A voice taunted. "You're gonna' die down here!"_

_"No!" She whimpered._

_"You'll die in this grave, and no one will even know you're dead." The voice began to laugh._

_She felt the dirt falling away beneath her as she found herself falling down into the flames of Hell, the burning yellows and oranges and reds melting away her flesh as they danced around her, singing her name over and over with gleeful expressions._

_"No!" She shouted. "Noooooooo!"_

"Deanna!"

"Ahhhhh!" She screamed, bolting upright in bed.

Eyes locating the figure next to her, she saw Sam stood beside her with a panicked expression.

"Sammy?..." Deanna asked in a soft, weak tone, breathing hard as she tried to calm herself down.

"Yeah, Deanna...It's me." He replied. "You okay?"

"Yeah..." She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad dream, that's all." Deanna lied. "When did you get back?"

"A couple of hours ago." Sam answered.

"Sorry for waking you." She apologised.

"Don't be." He smiled before furrowing an eyebrow. "Why have you still got your clothes on?"

"Oh...I couldn't be bothered to take them off so I thought, why not just sleep in them too?"

She saw her brother walk off towards the light switch.

"Sam, no!"

But it was too late, the light switched on revealing her in all of her patheticness.

Sam's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his older sister. Her long blonde hair was messy, her face was covered in mud and blood while her eyes looked red from crying, one of them blackened as if from a punch. Her clothes were also torn slightly in places, and the fingers on one hand were bleeding. "What happened?" He rushed back over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he then noticed that she was also shaking. "Deanna?" He began softly. "You have to tell me what happened."

Deanna shook her head as she took a few seconds to regain her composure, trying to stop the shakes. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Ignore me, I'm just being stupid." She then got up from the bed. "I just need some air." Deanna opened the bedroom door and walked off.

Sam waited for his sister to leave before he too got up and walked through into the main room of the cabin.

Bobby and their father were sat at the table in the kitchen.

Bobby's eyes were still on the door where, presumably, Deanna had left through, while their father was downing a glass of whiskey.

Anger flared up inside Sam as he stormed over to the table. "What did you do to her?!"

"She had to learn, Sam." Their father responded.

"Had to learn what?" Sam asked.

"She needed training on what to do if the situation ever arose. It will help her in the future." He continued.

Sam, anger beginning to burst free, closed the gap between him and their father and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up from the seat. "What did you do to her?"

Bobby was on his feet now too. "Sam..." He said in a tone that said _just calm down, kid_.

"I'm surprised she hasn't already started blabbering about it, blaming me for her _terrible hardship_!" He spoke in a mocking tone. "Pathetic girl!"

"John!" Bobby's raised tone shouted.

"Deanna isn't the pathetic one..." Sam began. "That's you..." He scoffed and shook his head, turning slightly before he swung a punch which hit their father across the face.

"Guh..." He groaned before looking back at his son. "Just because she wasn't strong enough to get herself out of it, doesn't make it my fault."

"Get out of what?!" Sam's tone rose in slight panic as their father began to reveal what happened.

"The grave."

Sam's eyes widened. "Grave? What grave?"

"Her training. What to do if she ever got buried alive. She started panicking and then kept shouting that she couldn't breathe so I had to pull her out. I was the stupid one for actually listening to her, none of the monsters would give a shit whether she was dying or not."

Sam felt sick. "She is your daughter..." He shook his head with an expression that showed his disgust at their father.

"And a pathetic one at that."

Sam went to pounce on their father, but Bobby restrained him, pulling him back.

"You stupid asshole!" He screamed.

"Sam! Sam!" Bobby shouted. "Calm down!"

Sam did, shooting their father a look of _this isn't over _before he walked across the room and out the door.

After the sound of the door slamming shut was heard, Bobby turned to John. "John, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to do what's best for my kids. Train them up in case something happens and I'm not there to help." John answered. "Today proved that Deanna's not ready."

"You buried her alive, John. How was she supposed to react?!" He exclaimed.

"By getting out of there instead of panicking."

"What do you mean panicked? How panicked was she?" Bobby asked, concerned for the welfare of the oldest Winchester sibling.

"You can't just keep doting on her, Bobby. She needs to learn." John responded.

Bobby scoffed and shook his head. "You're unbelievable." Grabbing his jacket off the back of the seat, he walked off across the room.

"Where are you going?" John shouted after him.

"Home." He answered.

John stood up from his chair and followed after him.

"Come on." Bobby was motioning towards his car in the driveway when John got outside.

"You're not taking them. They've got training tomorrow."

"The hell they have."

Sam climbed into the back of Bobby's car.

"Deanna. Don't you dare get into that car!" John warned.

Deanna hesitated, every bone in her body obviously screaming against disobeying her father's orders. She took a deep breath, looking at her father, before she too got into the car.

Bobby took this as his cue to get in too before he started the engine and began driving off down the dirt lane.

All that could be heard over the sound of the engine was their father screaming after them.

A tear silently trickled down Deann's cheek as she watched their father become a speck in the distance as they drove off.

* * *

Once they were on the highway and clear of the house, Sam had climbed from the backseat to the front to allow his sister to lie down on the bench.

Deanna had fallen asleep a couple of minutes prior and was now curled up, head resting on her arms, lying strewed across the leather bench, her legs now stretching even further across so that they were touching the door on the other side of the car due to the new found space from Sam moving into the passenger seat.

Bobby kept occasionally glancing in the rear view mirror at the oldest Winchester sibling, wincing with guilt as the street lights illuminated the state the girl was in as they passed them. Her black eye looked painful while her fingers were wrapped with bandages to stop the bleeding. Still covered in dirt from her time in the grave, Deanna looked wrecked.

And so did her brother.

Sam's elbow was resting against the framing of the window, his head on top of it as he stared into the distance.

"Sam..."

The youngest Winchester snapped out of it and turned to look at Bobby, stretching with a yawn as he did. "Yeah?"

"We can hold up somewhere for the night if you want?"

Sam shook his head. "We'll be safer when we get to yours, I mean, it shouldn't be too long now right?"

Bobby nodded. "About 20 minutes."

The silence returned.

"Sam..." He began once again. "She's gonna' be okay you know. Your sister's tougher than you think."

"I know she is, and that's what worries me. I mean she does this Bobby, believes that everything's her fault because of not being strong enough and then refuses to talk about it. It affects her, and she knows it does, but she just won't open up about it."

"Sam, your Daddy has always put a lot of pressure on your sister. And Deanna's always put a lot of pressure on herself, it's just the way she is."

"But it's not healthy, Bobby."

"I'm not saying it is...I'm just saying that maybe this is Deanna's way of coping with crap like this." Bobby responded.

"Thanks." Sam said after another brief period of silence.

"For what?" Bobby furrowed an eyebrow, glancing at the kid.

"For helping us out...again." Sam stated.

"No problem, kid."

* * *

Deanna awoke with a yawn as she sat up and looked around at her surroundings. A smile came to her face at the sight. Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

"Look who decided to join us." Spoke Bobby with a smile.

"Have I missed any thrilling conversations?" Deanna asked sarcastically.

"Don't be cheeky." Bobby fakely scorned.

"You okay, Deanna?" Sam asked, softly.

Deanna smiled at the concern her little brother had for her. "Yeah." She nodded. "I'm fine...I was just a little shaken up earlier, it's not big deal."

"Deanna..."

"I take it that was the wrong answer?" She followed up.

"Stop defending him!" Sam said, trying not to allow building up inside his body to explode.

"What?" Deanna furrowed an eyebrow.

"Dad. Stop defending him!" He shouted. "I mean, the man friggin' buried you alive and yet you're still being loyal to him?!"

"Stop it, Sam..." Deanna answered. "It was a training exercise, and I failed it. That was my fault, not Dad's."

"That's what I mean about defending him. The guy could start World War 3 and you'd still find some form of way to defend him!"

"Deanna! Sam!" Bobby shouted, ending the bickering of the two siblings.

They turned to him.

"Will you two stop your bickering!"

"Sorry, Bobby." They said in unison.

"Thank you." He nodded. "Now Deanna, this wasn't your fault."

She looked down.

Bobby noticed this. "Your Dad's not angry at you, he's angry at me for leaving with you two."

"He will be. I ignored a direct order." Deanna answered in a quiet voice.

"It's just Dad, Deanna. It was just an order." Sam responded.

"You don't understand, Sam..."

"Then help me!"

"The last time I ignored a direct order, something bad happened, and since then I've never ignored them because I don't want that person to get hurt again..." She paused. "Now leave it alone, Sam."

It was then that Bobby realised where this obedience had stemmed from. The kids were only young when it happened. Bobby remembered hearing that the kids had been dropped at Jim's by John. Jim had rang him to tell him about what had happened.

_"The boys are at yours?"_

_"Yeah, John's just dropped them off."_

_"Everything okay?" Bobby asked. "Are they alright? They hurt?"_

_"Define alright."_

_"What happened?"_

_"John had taken them to some town and left them in a motel room, but it turns out what they was hunting was a Shtriga." Jim explained._

_"Shit!"_

_"I know. John was pissed when they rolled in. There's no marks on Deanna, but John Winchester's clearly let his mouth run again."_

_"God damn it, John! What's he said?"_

_"Well he was still having a go at her at mine. He practically dragged her out of the car then kept making comments about her. The kid hasn't spoken a word since she came in. Something's wrong, Bobby. I've never seen the girl so scared before. But it's the sort of fear that a kid would have, something John's said has clearly triggered something because right now she's sat beside the door of her brother's room with her sawn off."_

_"Why isn't she in the room with him?"_

_"John's wisdom again. He told her to let Sam sleep but phrased it more like 'I think you've done enough damage for one night, don't you' which Deanna obviously took to heart."_

_"Why's she got her sawn off?"_

_"To protect Sammy. Apparently the Shtriga they were hunting came to the motel room and fed on Sam. Drained him a little before John came in and shot the thing. John said that Deanna ignored a direct order to stay in the room and watch her little brother so the thing got in when she was out. Deanna was in the room before John was though, I'm guessing she froze up at the sight of it." He paused. "I don't know what to do, Bobby. I mean the girl hasn't said anything since she came in. She just nods or shakes her head. It's like when Mary died all over again."_

_"When I see that bastard..." Bobby began._

_"Bobby, getting angry right now isn't going to help anyone."_

_"So what are you gonna' do?"_

_"Talk to her. See if I can try and repair some of the damage he's done."_

_"I can drive out there." Bobby stated._

_"No it's okay. I'll call if I need you." Jim answered._

_"Look after them." Bobby followed up._

_"I will."_

* * *

The rest of the car journey was spent in silence, neither Winchester sibling talking to each. Bobby sent Sam upstairs so that he could talk to Deanna once they reached the house, before sitting down at the kitchen table opposite John's eldest.

"What happened back then wasn't your fault, Deanna." Bobby spoke up.

"So you know about that too, huh?" She responded.

"Look, all I'm saying is that not everything that happens is your fault, and just because your Dad says it is, doesn't mean he ain't lying. You are a smart girl, Deanna, and you know that you would protect your little brother to the end of the Earth, but there was nothing you could have done that night. How old were you that night? Nine? Ten?"

"Ten."

"You couldn't have taken that monster on by yourself, Deanna. Sammy didn't get hurt because of you. If anyone's to blame ere, it's your Dad for leaving you in a motel room alone in a town where a monster's snacking on kids." Bobby then looked Deanna over. "Why don't you go wash up while I make some food?"

Deanna smiled. "Thanks, Bobby."

"You're welcome, Deanna."


	5. Make A Wish

**Pre series -** Deanna is **21** and Sam is **16/17**

**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

* * *

"Dad..." Deanna began, hating to have to even ask in the first place.

John turned to his eldest.

"I was wondering if I could borrow a few dollars?"

"Why?" John furrowed an eyebrow.

"Well it's Sammy's birthday tomorrow, and I was wanting to get him something. I mean, I'll pay you back, it's just I don't have enough from the garage to pay for it."

"You know we can't afford to buy presents, Deanna."

"I know, but..." She tried.

"Deanna..." He cut her off. "No."

Anger flaring, Deanna scoffed. "I have done everything you have ever asked me to do! What, does that only work one way?! When I ask one thing from you...no that's too much!" Deanna shouted.

"Deanna..." John began.

"Forget I asked." She looked at him with an expression that reflected her anger before beginning to walk off towards the bedroom she was sharing with her brother.

"Deanna, don't walk away from me when we're talking!" John shouted before grabbing her arm, turning her round so he she was facing him. "We're not done here!"

"What's there to say?" She asked.

"I'm trying to keep you and your brother safe here, Deanna. Stop making me into the villain just because I'm not giving you money for a present."

"Why is everything always..." Deanna began, her anger exploding as she slammed her hand across the small table sending the bottle of whiskey and the glasses flying. "...my fault!" She screamed. The assortment of glass smashed on impact with the floor. "You'd blame anything on me! Just so you wouldn't have to blame yourself. Cause' that's who's fault it really is! I'm working a job at the garage, what the fuck are you doing to provide an income?! Nothing! You'd rather have us starve if that meant you could kill that demon! It's..."

Deanna was cut off as John slapped her across the cheek with enough force to send her tumbling to the ground, un-expectant of the blow.

"Dad!" Shouted Sam's voice as he rushed in, standing between his sister and father.

John's expression returned to a calmer one before realisation kicked in, followed by guilt.

Sam was knelt beside his older sister now.

"It's okay, Sammy...I'm fine..." He heard Deanna reassure Sam in an almost whisper.

"Deanna..." He began.

Deanna ignored him and got to her feet once again before crossing the motel room and walking out the door.

There was silence for a few seconds before John spoke up.

"Go after your sister, she shouldn't be alone right now." He stated softly.

Sam didn't say anything as he looked at his father before he too headed out of the motel room.

* * *

Sam walked back in an hour and a half later with a concerned expression.

"I couldn't find her. She'd already took off before I got outside, and I've looked all over town..."

"She can't have gone far, she didn't take the Impala." John stated. "Did you try the bars?"

"Yeah but they were packed, I wouldn't have been able to see her amongst the crowds even if she was in there."

"We'll go together, got a better chance of finding her that way."

"Surprised you care so much." Sam muttered.

"Sam...she is still my daughter. I made a mistake earlier, and I feel guilty as hell for what I did. I worry about her too, you know." John got up from his seat on the edge of the bed and walked over to the table. He was just about to grab the key's to the Impala when there was another knock at the door. John rushed over and quickly opened it.

There was Deanna, wrists in handcuffs, being held by the arm in the Sheriff's tight grip. There was blood running from her nose while she had bruises all over her face. She also had a cut on her forehead which meant that her blonde hair was stuck to the blood slightly in some places.

"You John Newick?" The Sheriff asked.

"Yeah." John nodded.

"Well, Mr Newick, I suggest you keep a closer eye on your daughter. Cops were called after a bartender reported a fight outside his bar between Deanna here and a group of bikers. Apparently she had been playing cards with the group about twenty minutes prior to the fight." The Sheriff paused. "She's on her last warning. Next time I will not hesitate to throw her in the cells."

John nodded. "Thank you, Officer. It won't happen again."

"Make sure it doesn't." The Sheriff stated before he took the key for the handcuffs out of his pocket and began to unlock them from Deanna's wrists.

Once off, Deanna began to rub her wrists to try and get some of the feeling back in them from having the cuffs on for so long. Noticing the look on her father's face, she quickly walked into the motel room.

"Goodnight now, Mr Newick." The Sheriff walked off.

John nodded before he closed the door.

Deanna was sat on the edge of the bed now, still rubbing her wrists.

Sam had sat down next to her, fussing already.

"Do you realise what could have happened if they'd thrown you in there?!" John asked.

"I'm 21, Dad, they can't take me off you." Deanna stated in response.

"Really?! Maybe if you started to act like it, I might actually treat you that way!"

"Screw you, Dad...I'm really not in the mood." Deanna stood up, wincing as she did so and walked off to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

The room fell into silence.

John looked at Sam before sighing. "Look after your sister." He grabbed his jacket before heading towards the door.

"Dad, where you going?" Sam asked.

"Out. I'll be back." He left, closing the door behind him.

Sighing, Sam got up and walked across the room to the bathroom before knocking gently on the door. "Deanna, open up." He called. "Dad left." Sam added.

The lock on the door clicked.

Sam opened the door slowly and peered round it to see Deanna sat on the toilet seat lid. Walking inside and closing the distance between them, Sam crouched down in front of his sister and began to take in all the bruises and cuts. He reached out a hand but Deanna swatted it away. "I'm fine, Sam. Perfectly capable of cleaning myself up."

"Never said you weren't." Sam responded before reaching for the flannel in the sink, he soaked it in cold water before gently taking Deanna's chin in one hand before angling her head up slightly as he began to gently dab away the blood on her face. Once the blood was all cleaned away, Sam grabbed the first aid kit and took out a needle and some dental floss from the box.

Deanna reached into her jacket pocket before she pulled out a parcel which had been wrapped with newspaper. She handed it to me. "Happy Birthday, Sammy." She smiled softly.

"You remembered." Sam smiled too.

"Of course I remembered. I wouldn't be much of a big sister if I hadn't."

Then realisation kicked in. The conversation he'd overheard parts of this morning becoming clearer. "How'd you get the money for this?" He asked.

"Sam..." Deanna began but was cut off.

"You shouldn't have done that." He stated.

"Why?" She challenged.

"Because you could have gotten yourself killed!" Sam retorted.

"I don't care!" Deanna shouted.

"Why?!" Sam shouted too.

"Because I'm sick of seeing you go without!" Deanna answered. "No birthday presents, no Christmas presents...I'm sick of it!"

"De...I'm gonna' be 17 tomorrow, you don't have to worry about getting me presents. I'm old enough now." Sam tried to reassure in a much calmer voice.

"Yes I do..." She sighed. "You're my little brother."

"And just because I'm your little brother doesn't mean you can just pick a fight with a biker to get some money to buy me a present."

"Hey, I won that money fair and square. They were the ones who wouldn't accept that I'd won." Deanna stated. "Stupid assholes jumped me on the way back."

"So how do they do?" Sam asked.

"Oh...not good. Not good at all. Frankly, they were pathetic. They only managed to get a few punches in here and there, packed some power mind I'll give them that, but other than that they were rubbish. They were practically whimpering when I was done with the douchebags. I think they saw blonde and let their assumptions take over."

"Good to hear you set them straight." Sam smiled. "But please don't get into a fight just to get me a birthday present."

"I don't know why I bother, I mean you haven't even opened it yet." Deanna smirked.

Sam smirked too as he began to unwrap the present, smiling as he finished. "Deanna." He looked up at his sister. "How?..."

"How did I know that you've been feeling over that book for like the last four months? Sammy, you've looked at it in every bookshop in every town we've been to." Deanna smiled. "It's about time you got the friggin' thing."

"Thank you." Sam thanked as he hugged Deanna in appreciation.

"You're welcome, Sammy. But let's not turn this into a click flick moment. Get off me." Deanna smirked, pushing her little brother off her with a smile.

There was a light knock on the bathroom door.

Turning, the two siblings saw their father stood at the door holding a small cupcake with white icing and a blue candle in it. "Peace offering?"

Deanna smiled, thankful that their father had took his head out of his ass and actually listened to her.

Sam still looked pissed about everything as he turned to Deanna protectively.

Deanna shot him a look of 'leave it, Sammy' before she took her lighter out of her pocket and threw it over to their Dad.

Sam eventually smiled as he saw the lit candle. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, Sam." Their father smiled back.

"Don't forget to make a wish." Deanna reminded.

Sam smirked but did as he was told and made a wish before he blew out the candle.

"What did you wish for, Sammy?" Deanna asked.

"You're not supposed to tell, De." Sam answered.

"Well that's stupid."

"You're stupid." Sam retorted with a smirk.

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

In truth, Sam hadn't wished for anything. He had everything he wanted right here.


	6. Missing Cas

_Prompt: AU - Deanna is the one with the demon blood. _

Tag to** The Rapture (4x20) **and** When the Levee Breaks (4x21)**

* * *

**To view Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

* * *

Sam came running through the door.

"What's wrong?" Bobby asked, slightly taken aback by the youngest Winchester's abrupt entrance.

"It's Deanna, she's missing." Sam answered. "We were at the warehouse and then something happened and she took off."

"Sam, she came in a couple of minutes ago and went upstairs." He explained.

"Deanna's upstairs?!" Sam's eyes widened.

Bobby nodded.

Sam ran off upstairs.

Bobby followed him.

Noticing that the bathroom door was closed, Sam walked over to it and gently knocked. "Deanna?"

The sound of muffled crying that could be heard from behind the door stopped, Deanna sniffling. "...go away..." Came a frail voice, plagued with hints of just how scared Deanna seemed to be.

"Deanna, please let me in." Sam called.

"...no..."

"Deanna."

"Just...go away!" Deanna shouted. "...please..."

"No." Sam answered. "You need to unlock the door, or I'll pick it."

"I don't need help." Deanna stated.

Sam sighed and slunk down the door to the floor where he rested back against it. "Well I'll be out here then until you do."

"Sammy, don't be stupid."

The silence signalled the end of their conversation.

Rolling her eyes, Deanna slowly pushed herself to her feet, using the bath tub for support. She looked in the mirror. Her reflection said it all. Blood was thickly smudged around her mouth from where she had drank from the demon while her eyes were dark red from crying and veiny from the power the blood gave her. Her blonde hair was a mess. Just like her. Desperational, agonising rage built up inside her as she hated what she saw in the mirror. "Guh!" Deanna swung and punched the mirror causing it to smash as her knuckled came into contact with it. Some of the shards of glass from the shattered mirror fell down into the sink while others were lodged into the now bloody skin of Deanna's hand. Breaking down into sobs again, Deanna held onto the rim of the sink with a vice like grip as she cried.

The door clicked behind her.

"Don't come in!" She shouted through the sobs, not wanting her little brother to see her like this. "Please...please don't come in..." Deanna glanced towards the door to see Bobby.

He said something to a panicked looking Sam before he closed the door behind him.

"What did my mirror ever do to you?" Bobby asked with a smirk.

Deanna's sobs let up as she too smirked slightly. She adjusted her grip on the sink.

"Sit down before you fall down." Bobby gently wrapped an arm around her waist before he put the lid of the toilet down and helped the eldest Winchester sit down. He looked her over before sighing. "I'm not here to judge, but you gotta' tell me what's going on, Deanna."

Silence.

"You're drinking the blood again?"

"No." Deanna answered.

"Your face would say otherwise."

"I had to..."

Bobby furrowed an eyebrow. "What d'you mean you _had_ to?"

"Cas came into my dream and told me to meet him at some old warehouse. Turns out there had been some kind of angel on angel fight and Cas had been beamed back to the mothership. We found his vessel Jimmy and helped him out. Then some demon possessed his wife and Cas came back and possessed the kid. I had to drink the blood cause' the demon was in his wife and I couldn't use the knife on her. It would have killed her and then I would have made this kid an orphan...I wasn't going to do that. So yeah, I drank the blood. It was the only option."

"So what happened to Cas?"

"I don't know. He got zapped during the battle. I'm guessing it was back to Heaven."

"So what's the problem?"

"He isn't exactly Haven's favourite angel. They probably will have jumped at the opportunity to screw with him. You know, turned him back into bible school Cas. Bible school, no free will Cas who saw me as an abomination and hated everything about me." She lowered her head.

Bobby sighed.

"He left me, Bobby." A tear trickled down Deanna's cheek. "I miss him _so_ much."

"Hey..." Bobby began as he smiled softly.

Deanna smiled back before she wiped away the tear and shook her head. "Sorry, I'm being stupid...God, get it together, Winchester." She told herself.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Bobby stated as he grabbed the first aid kit and began treating Deanna's hand.

"Sorry about your mirror." She apologised.

"Don't worry about it, kid."

"Thanks, Bobby."

Once her hand was stitched up, Bobby got a flannel and wiped away the blood around her mouth.

"You're gonna' put me down there aren't you?" Deanna asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm sorry, but we have to." Bobby's tone held as much emotion as Deanna's did. "You need to ride out the withdrawl symptoms, and it's the safest place to do it."

"Fine...better get it over with then." Pushing herself up from the toilet seat, Deanna screwed her eyes together as she fought through the stabbing pain that was attacking her stomach. "Ughhh."

"Easy there, kid. Just take it slow." Bobby stated as he once again wrapped an arm around her for support.

Another stab ripped through her stomach causing her to scream in pain.

* * *

"Gah!" Deanna screamed as she opened her eyes finding herself in the panic room. She had lost count of how many hours she had been down there. She didn't know whether it even was hours. It could be days for all she knew.

A tear trickled down her cheek as realisation kicked in that what she had felt had all been just a dream. A stupid dream. She hadn't been given the chance to explain herself. She hadn't been shown any kindness. She had simply been tricked into entering the panic room before Sam and Bobby slammed the heavy door closed behind her and went off upstairs, leaving her to deal with the demon blood withdrawal by herself.

Lying on the bed, Deanna continued to cry as her body shook from the pain that was surging through her. Deanna screwed her eyes closed to try and block out the excruciating pain as she bucked in the hand and foot cuffs that they had put her in, chaining her to the metal framing of the bed. "Ahhh..." She moaned quietly.

She had already been visited by her father, her younger self, and Sam.

They had all looked at her with disgust in their eyes.

But not her mother.

Her mother had been kind. She had listened to her. She understood what Deanna was trying to do. Why she was drinking the demon blood.

None of them understood.

None of them cared.

The room stank with the stench of vomit. In the early stages of the withdrawal, the blood had made her be sick to clear it from her system. This obviously caused her craving for more blood to heighten as more and more of what demon blood remained in her stomach was expelled.

She had screamed and begged from her brother and Bobby to help her. To stop the pain. But no one had answered her calls.

Their only visit to the panic room being to handcuff her wrists and feet to the metal framing of the bed after the withdrawal had caused her to have seizures and thrown her around the room.

"Gahh..." She moaned once again as her body shook from the pain. Yet another tear trickled down her cheek.

She was desperate for release.

Death was be but a gift for her right now.

She wanted it to be over.

She wanted the pain to stop.

It was then that Deanna heard the sound of one of the handcuffs clicking.

Opening her eyes through the pain, Deanna was shocked to see that the handcuff had been unlocked.

There was another click, then another, then another as all of the cuffs opened, freeing her from the bed.

She then spotted a figure standing by the far wall of the panic room. The figure rushed over to her.

Deanna's eyes widened. "Cas..."

Cas smiled.

"But...you..." She paused. "...you got zapped back to Heaven."

"I broke out." He answered. "Which is exactly what I am going to help you do." Cas closed the distance between them and gently wrapped an arm around Deanna's back as he helped her to sit up. He then sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her back for support.

Deanna still looked shocked. "It's really you?..."

Cas nodded.

Deanna smiled before she pressed her lips against his.

Cas placed a hand on her cheek as he kissed her back.

When they eventually pulled away, Cas looked towards the door. "Let's get out of here."

Deanna nodded.

Lifting her into his arms, Cas smiled as he saw Deanna curl in him for protection and rest her head against his chest. He then poofed off, leaving the panic room behind them.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Should I continue this chapter?


	7. The Girl with the Demon Blood

**To View Deanna Winchester's Wardrobe go to Polyvore and then add this to the end of the URL **/deanna_winchester/set?id=129966029

* * *

Stood in the salvage yard, Cas became alert at the sound of wings fluttering.

"What did you do?" Anna asked in a stern tone.

"You shouldn't have come, Anna."

"Why would you let out Deanna Winchester?" She paused. "Cas, you saw her. She's drinking the demon blood. It's much worse than we thought. Sam was trying to stop her."

"Sam was killing her!" Cas growled.

"We have to find her, Cas..." As Anna took in Cas' expression, realisation kicked in. "You know where she is..." She shook her head. "So it's not bad enough that you're the one who let her out in the first place, you're now harbouring her too?!"

"She's not dangerous, Anna."

"The hell she's not! Deanna Winchester must die. I will be the one to kill her before she brings everything down upon us."

"Anna, we've been through much together, but if you come near Deanna, I will not hesitate to kill you."

"Why are you protecting her, Castiel?! She is effectively demon spawn and yet you treat her like she is some devine being that must be defended at all costs."

"Deanna is my friend."

"We both know that you and Deanna haven't been just _friends_ in a very long time..." Anna paused. "You love her...you actually love her. You love the girl with the demon blood..." She paused once again. "Oh Cas, you're so deluded. She's a monster, and nothing more!"

In seconds, Cas had closed the gap between him and Anna and was now standing with his angel blade positioned against her throat. He growled. "Don't you dare talk about her like that!"

"She really has got you tied round her little finger, hasn't she. Her own little pet angel. Cause' that's all you are to her. Just a little puppy that desperately wants to rebel against his Daddy and his home. She's using you, Castiel! Why can't you see that?! She's using you to shield her from the angels that she knows want her dead!"

"You're lying!"

"No, Cas...I'm not. Look at what Deanna grew up listening to from her father. Do you think that angels ever meant anything to her? Hell, she didn't even believe in them until she met you. She shot her little brother down endlessly when they were on that case. Sam had been right though, he had seen an angel that day, and angels did exist, but Deanna didn't want to believe it." She paused. "Deanna sees angels as a means to an end. Nothing more. You're just a tool in her plan to kill Lilith. Nothing more." Anna sighed. "My advice...run, Cas. She's going to kill Lilith and she's not gonna' let anything get in her way. Nothing...not even angels that have romantic attractions to her."

"You're so wrong, Anna." Cas stated.

"Sometimes...but not this time." Anna clicked her fingers and a group of angels appeared, all wielding angel blades. She then disappeared.

"Deanna!" Cas' eyes widened before a punch landed across his face.

* * *

Deanna was still lying asleep on the bed where he had left her earlier.

"Deanna! Deanna!" She heard Cas' panicked voice as she felt herself being shook.

Deanna groaned as she flickered her eyes open. "Cas?" Her eyes widened.

Anna was stood beside the bed. She grinned. "Hello, Deanna."

Deanna groaned internally as she pushed herself into a sitting position and began to back away from her across the bed. "Get away from me!"

"I can't do that I'm afraid. I have to kill you."

"Great..." She answered in a sarcastic tone.

"The angels need me dead."

"They do or you do." Deanna scoffed. "I mean, when have you not wanted me dead?"

Anna didn't respond but did pull a angel blade from her sleeve.

Deanna's eyes widened. "Shit!" She looked at Anna. "Why do you want me dead?"

"There's a vast list of reasons, Deanna."

"So what are you gonna' do, just stab me right here right now?" Deanna asked. "Wouldn't want to stain the sheets."

"Enough!" Anna bellowed.

Deanna silenced. "Fine, bring it on, _bitch_!"

Anna pounced to strike with the blade but Deanna threw herself out of the way, falling from the bed and landing in a heap on the floor painfully.

"Guh." She moaned before pushing herself as quickly to her feet as she could manage. "What did you do to Cas?"

"Nothing. I thought he would have been here by now, but apparently he doesn't care about you as much as you think he does."

Deanna rolled her eyes. "How stupid do you think I am?..." She paused. "Don't answer that."

Anna pounced once again, barrelling into Deanna and sending them both falling to the floor.

Deanna swung and landed a punch across the angel's face, forgetting how bad of an idea that was as she recoiled her throbbing hand. "Ahh..." She winced before resorting to plan b. Kicking out against Anna, she managed to push her off her, pinning her down to the floor by her neck.

That's when she felt it.

"Guh..." She moaned as the metal pierced through her stomach. The sting of the blade caused her to gasp as she looked down to see it stabbed through her, Anna's hand holding it there. And then it was gone. Anna having ripped it from her stomach, her blood now staining it red.

Deanna felt woozy as she struggled to keep herself upright.

Anna proceeded to land a punch across her face, knocking her backwards to the ground so that she landed in a heap on her side. Her head resting against the wood of the motel's laminate flooring, leaching the cool chill from it.

"It will all be over soon." Anna stated as she placed her hand over Deanna's heart before she closed eyes.

Deanna furrowed an eyebrow as she felt nothing for the first few seconds, then it hit her. "Gah!" She moaned as the pain began to radiate through her. Denna could feel her heart slowing as black dots danced in her vision and her eyelids began to flicker. Her body was screaming for release against the excruciating pain flowing through her whole system. The pain from the demon blood withdrawal seeming pathetic compared to the pain she was experiencing now.

Deanna struggled to focus on Anna as she weakly struggled to keep her eyes open. "Cas..." She began, surprised by how pathetic her weak, shaky voice actually came out. "Cas...I need you...please..."

Deanna felt pathetic as the pain heightened. She was supposed to be strong. Well...she wasn't really much of anything nowadays. Like her brother said, 'Try weak. Try desperate. Try Pathetic.' 'Monster, Deanna. You're a monster.'

"Cas..." Deanna whispered, as she curled into herself further, wrapping an arm around her stomach as she moaned quietly.

"Shhh..." She imagined Cas' soft tone through the haze. "Just sleep...just sleep, Deanna." She could feel him gently stroking her long, blonde hair as the lights started to go out around her. Hazy Cas smiled at her before he disappeared too.

Deanna couldn't fight the impending blackness, and eventually succumbed to it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Don't worry, there is another chapter to come :)


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